Time and again since I’ve started writing Inspirational Romance, I’ve encountered the question, “What does God have to do with romance?” To which, I respond with amazement, “Everything!” To me, one of the most sacred mysteries is the love between a man and a woman, how two distinct lives can be cleaved together and become one forever. It is fascinating. It is the basis of all of life. Yet I think it is one of the most misunderstood elements of our society today.

The confusion begins when we do not appreciate the difference between the body and the spirit. The body is limited. Asked to touch the ceiling without a ladder or a chair, and you might be hard-pressed to figure out how to do that. The spirit, on the other hand, is unlimited. Lie on the grass and let your spirit soar with a kite high into a soft blue sky, and it will have no problem doing that. This is the first roadblock that society has put up between God and romance. Society says that romance is based on bodies—the physical. God says romance is based in the spirit.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3

How but in God can two souls touch, fall in love, and be bonded together forever? How but in God can a couple weather the crises that inevitably come in marriage? How but with God at the center of the household can man and wife become one flesh until death do them part? How, indeed?

But the messages promoted by society say that to find a spouse, you must first twist yourself and your beliefs into unrecognizable patterns to make yourself “attractive” to another. To be attractive you must focus almost exclusively on the physical, ignore the spiritual, and forget God until you’re ready to get married. From this point-of-view, it’s no wonder that people think romance and God are exclusive clubs, and you cannot belong to both.

"'What does God have to do with romance?'"

To me, that’s sad because God meant the mystery of marriage to be the most intimate relationship two people can have. True intimacy is romantic in itself, and true intimacy is based not on the physical but on the spiritual connection that two people share. The connection that God Himself ordained as holy.

Let marriage be held in honor among all.
Hebrews 13:4

And this connection starts when the couple first meets—not at the altar.

By divorcing God from romance, we have taken God out of the relationship between man and woman. So instead of explaining that in God and through God, your relationship can be based on something real, and holy, and lasting, we throw our sons and daughters to the winds. Telling them either, “Sex is bad. It is a sin.” Or we give them condoms in schools on the erroneous belief that “kids will be kids.” To me, both are cop-outs. We need to guide our kids (and inform ourselves) that if God is at the center of the relationship from the beginning, sex before marriage shouldn’t be a question.

Why? Because true love is about getting to know one another on a deeper level than physical, because when you find true love, you want what is best for the other person, and because sex-before-marriage is always based on fear rather than love. If it is love, if this relationship is forever in the eyes of God, why not get married first? Reality is, marriage solidifies the union in the eyes of society, in God’s eyes, and in the eyes of the participants. Therefore, if it’s true love, why not wait? Waiting is respectful to both partners. It will strengthen the commitment. It will solidify trust. And it holds to the belief that God is indeed the center of this union, and He will make a time and a place for everything.

God and romance? In the same breath? What a radical concept, but so overwhelmingly wonderful when it becomes the center of your relationship with another.

For love is from God and everyone that loves is born of God and know God…for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

It’s a standard we should all strive for.

© Staci Stallings

Other Articles by Staci Stallings

Heaven Bound 60 Years Headed to Forever Abide in Me It Makes Perfect Sense Living in God's Hands My Journey with God Prove It Risk in the Real World Somewhere in Between That Knock at Your Door Thoughts on the Road to Emmaus Where Were The Angels? Motivation Station Writer's Bloc